Over the last few days I have been in talks with colleagues regarding my behavior & how it pertains to the industry. Not surprisingly, the remix I did was sort of the catalyst for this. What was brought to my attention is that I was letting hubris eat away at my reputation for good music. While I was making sure that I said EVERYTHING I felt about the business & it's pitfalls, I wasn't seeing how Pride, in its worst forms, was blocking my blessings.
This weekend, consequently, was one of the most depressing and expository I've had. I sat with my own mistakes, and for the first time in a long time, really examined them, seeing how the ramifications of my actions could've been (and still could be) more far reaching than I cared to admit. While I was confident that members of the industry would be like me in addressing their problems w/me outright, what I forgot was that people - in any form of socio-business interaction - don't have the time to deal with such confrontation, and will opt for a less time-consuming option (i.e. limiting their dialogue with you & placing your name on the black list). I'm sure I'm on a few of those already with things I've said & done, and I've only had a handful of successes with my work. That's a scary thing, looking at it now.
I'm happy to report, faithful pals, that at the end of the weekend, I was able to laugh at myself, and with a final conversation w/a great producer-friend, hit the bed knowing that I had somewhat conquered my Pride. In a scene from one of my favorite movies, "The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood," actor James Garner's character. noted something that makes even more sense now than before: "Pride covers a multitude of sins, and...the road to hell is paved with good intentions." He went on to explain that the road back is paved with Pride's arch-nemesis, Humility. And it is this Humility that I think has finally won over my heart; this is an awesome thing.
SO! What happens know? Well, my fans & friends, you already know that good music is going to keep happening in my little corner of the world. The difference? Now I can see that it's better to just "shut up" and make it, rather than blab about it ALL the time, LOL (thanks Giles). OK, we all know I LOOOOVE to talk about stuff...and I mean, let's face it, I probably will keep blogging and blabbing about stuff. But now I get that talking about stuff and talkin' SHIT don't have to be in the same blog entry. And you guys who are supporting me deserve a better artist & creator; I'm no role model, I know this, but I can do a better job of giving you all what it is you like about me, which is - hopefully - good music. So thank you, from the bottom of my newly cleaned heart, for continuing to rock with me...here we go again!!
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