On a weekend where love is in the air and those of us in relationships find ways to express our affection for one another, I find myself wondering about how my love has affected me. In my case, of course, my love is music, plain and simple. Aside from the unconditional love I have for my Creator & family, this particular relationship almost seems to break the barriers that hold me back in many other aspects of my life. I admit that I am not the most socially savvy individual. There are times, in fact, where my interactions with people fall so short, that I wonder how those people are even able to deal with me. I don't hide from the fact I'm a man in transition, and that I am bound to make mistakes. But God help me, He has given me something to love which has proven to be an amazing lover; something to which I can always return in my worst moments.
If it seems overtly prose-ridden and deep, my wonderful pals, it's probably because it is (LOL). Recent dialogues with friends/colleagues, as well as great new musical opportunities have once again rekindled the inner workings of the passion that drives me. Some of that dialogue has been angry, some of it sad, and in some cases, I am on the verge of major shifts in my life. Now that I am closer than ever to completing my EP - which leaves me more time to work with others - it's frighteningly clear how much my love really rings true the words of St. Paul to the Corinthians.
After reading through several translations of the famous Epistle, I've found that the words so often used in readings, quotes, and song lyrics (thank you Lauryn Hill) refer to not just a love for God or another human being, but to anything that one can love - and how it loves you back. Paul writes of love that it is "Long suffering, kind, envieth not," and is not "puffed up." As a musician with a focus, what I tend to forget is that this love I have for music must resemble the Love Music has for me. Music doesn't stress that I find time to do other things, or be a son/brother to my family; in fact, it encourages such behavior. My passion, however, tends to justify my wrongs by placing Music as the vanguard against those who would chastise me for those mistakes. How many times have we as artists "puffed" ourselves up to mask our insecurity or uncertainty?
Paul goes on to write that Love is "not easily proked, and thinketh no evil; rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things." All of these qualities I have found to be true in Music and how it works through my art. The Love that Music holds for me believes that I can 'make it' with my grind, and constantly pushes me to stay true to my vision. In an industry such as the one in which I choose to work, it helps me to stay strong and resolute, while constantly looking positively forward to new musical & artistic horizons. Sounds like hope to me.
Finally, this:
Love "never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away."
Folks, please know that I am not trying to deify Music as something to worship other than God; rather, I am speaking of this amazing gift He has given us. I cannot think of a time where Music has ever failed to help me get through and press on. Even in the midst of those who would see to it that I lose out in this hustle, the Music itself has helped me to keep working to not only achieve my goals, but to exceed them. I can't stop now, even if I wanted to; when all of the other imbalances in my life have balanced out, the Love that Music has for me & what I do with it stays strong. That's a great thing to be sure of.
In the end, faithful reading pals, what I've concluded here is that to be a complete person who does music, I have to be able to exude this type of love with others & other things in my life. And I have to know the difference between my love for the art and the passion for my grind. That passion, while extremely important, can X out alot of great things in my life, important things that are also an integral part of my identity. Letting that happen would be a discredit to the music I make; as hard as I work, I made a decision long ago to try and live a full life. That life includes more than just making music, and Music's Love for me understands that, so it is on me to manage my passion. We as musicians as artists all have to make a point of living/loving in a way that replicates how Music has loved us; unconditionally, wholly, and with a full heart.
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